Y'all See That 1.3 Issue of Jean Salad Tho? Here Are The Footnotes and Video. EP Dropping?!

I dropped a new audio rap poem titled “I Want To Get So Close ... To You” on

JEAN SALAD

, Issue 1.3. The verse I wrote was inspired by revisiting Cleo Sol’s 2020 track “Shine.” My wife put me on to Cleo Sol right around the time “Shine” dropped, and it’s been with me ever since. The laid-back beat and warm vocals pair well with the uplifting lyrics that help nurture seeds growing in the dark.

When I revisited the track in December 2024, the lyrics hit differently:

I want to get so close to you /
And cherish the sunshine /
Leave everything behind /
And run away so far together /
A lot of pain in those eyes /
Please don't lose your light /

Marvelous /
Marvelous child /
I know anger /
It's like a thorn that's stuck inside /
But you will heal in time /

—“Shine” by Cleo Sol

This past winter, it dawned on me how much this song feels like a love letter to those younger parts we hold inside—the little ones that carry our wounds. Feeling inspired, and needing to tend to some of those wounds (thanks to the seasonal blues), I decided to write.

Hearing No Evil, I chopped up different sections of the song to create a loop as the backdrop. I didn’t set out to write a love letter, but the first lines came to me:

Wanna run away together but I don’t got the bag to /
Change the weather. Plus the storm clouds are close as ever /
Remember nights when you confided and asked for better /
Scared of the Klan and them guns that blast forever /

—and now Miguel “I Want To Get So Close ... To You”

I set up my TV dinner desk for my laptop, broke out my audio interface and microphone and listened to the loop. The mood hit and then lines started to come to me. As I continued to lay each line down, a narrative emerged around the inner child and a sense of compassion arose¹. Rather than writing (or typing) this one out, I laid each line down by recording myself as the lines came to me. Sometimes a bar or two at a time. I’m happy with what came out and I hope that it is felt.

In my previous post, "Box Braided Jesus," I talked about my hair journey and cutting it all off. This new verse, “I Want To Get So Close ... To You,” is about (re)growth—connecting with inner roots, cultivating a new relationship with the spirit, and embracing rebirth this Spring. It’s about spreading that revolution² through art.

Why share it on Jean Salad?
Well,

ARC

did an interview with Hope(less) on Sundays where they both talked about childhood trauma, the inner child, and how these things intersect with art. That conversation deeply resonated with me. That sorta inner child work is what my Introduction post on Substack was about. The intro post features an instrumental track I made when I was 15 or 16. In honoring my younger self, I had that track professionally mixed and mastered. It’s brave and slow work.

What’s next?
Right now, I’m finishing up an EP I’ve been sitting on since 2021. I’ve been meaning to release it for the longest, but...

Been writing for like fourteen years /
Haven’t released nothing cause all that fear /
Left me stuck, on the dock of the bay, with a can of Old Bay /
Consuming these crabs in a barrel to plan my escape /

—and now Miguel from “On The Doc”

All that pent-up fear is rooted in what I mentioned earlier. But now, I’m doing some housekeeping—organizing files, cleaning things up—before diving into the post-production process. Underneath that fear? Excitement. I'm really proud of this project. I made the beats, produced, and wrote the lyrics for this EP. This is a childhood dream coming true, and I can’t wait to share it with you.

Big love to

JEAN SALAD

, the incredible

hope(less) on sundays

, and shoutout to everyone featured in Issue 1.3,

prince sebastian

,

ALUKAH

,

Ira

,

Grace

,

Kenan Clark

,

Olivia

,

Evie Wynne

,

Odesse

,

ARION

,

sarena

,

lola

,

nico

, and

hebe fryer

.

I Want To Get So Close ... To You (Audio Lyrics)

A lot of pain drained from the main thing of my eye/

Puffy, swollen, crying from the same thing wondering can/

I maintain under the same thing. I want to hold you/

Close, but my frame keeps shaking. I/

Wanna run away together but I don’t got the bag to/

Change the weather. Plus the storm clouds are close as ever/

Remember nights when you confided and asked for better/

Scared of the Klan and them guns that blast forever/

Fiver Forty, Taylor Av. I was a shorty/³

Had mad soul with no socks. Rocked Reeboks a/⁴

First gen. trying to make it in the shinny Apple with the/

Worst penmanship, got hurt as a kid, and/

now i’M[iguel] much older, trying to balance you little soldier/⁵

Its complex how The Body Keeps The Score/⁶

I’ma honor you healing what's deepest at the core by taking/

Ownership of what was forgotten from before/⁷

JEAN SALAD 1.3

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Liner Notes

I wrote this verse at the start of the year 2025 after revisiting Cleo Sol’s song “Shine.” As I worked through my own grief, her lyrics hit me differently this time. They inspired me to write a compassionate love letter to the wounds our inner little ones hold. The blows inflicted by sticks, stones, and words that have forever hurt. And, on a more broader level, I wanted to use this piece to shed light on youth protest. The need to protect ourselves and our bodies. It is a revolutionary act to reconcile with those hurt parts that didn't quite get the care that was needed. Socially the youth are often thrown to the wolves. It sucks. But by being compassionate to ourselves first, despite the lack of compassion in our youth, we can begin to heal ourselves and each other. Please go check out Cleo Sol’s music. I couldn’t do this song justice, but, I was inspired to write and thought it important to share.

Vocals performed by and now Miguel.

Lyrics poem written by and now Miguel.

Track mix and mastered by Hear No Evil (and now Miguel).

Instrumental from Cleo Sol’s song, “Shine” which was produced by Inflo.

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Dear Listener-Reader,

Thank you for engaging with my work. It takes capital and time to complete this EP independently. Please consider supporting my work by visiting my store, or treating me to a cup of tea.

If you are interested in learning more about me, check out my previous post On The Doc, Found/Lost Connection, or Page Made Magus.

With warm and loving gratitude,

and now Miguel

1. Rose in the Dark (2020), Celo Sol album. The title of the piece I wrote are the opening lines from Cleo Sol’s “Shine” which this verse was written to.

2. Revolution as in a turning or rolling back. Seeking the old and seeing it in the new light of awareness. Perspective has more power than physical force. I invite you to: “do. the. work.”

3. Both a reference to home address and his height, I guess.

4. A somewhat lovingly crude reference to the Caribbean Dominican-American origins of the child this verse is dedicated to. Also, those Reeboks could’t block a rusty nail that broke the shoes sole and gored its way into my foot’s sole. Maybe if I wore socks I would have had an extra layer of protection. But then again I had to worry about grown ups cursing me out because I was walking around the house in socks.

5. Layered references here to wounds of childhood trauma, but I want the listener to consider, Child Rebel Soldier (rap group), US gang’s recruitment of youth, these practices happening in Africa, and the latter part of the title of Kurt Vonnegut’s, Slaughterhouse-Five, or, The Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death. When teaching a predominantly White group of students between the age of 19-24 at Ohio University, showed them this news clip (start clip at 6:50 - 7:50) of the Kent State Shooting Massacre in an attempt to situate youth protest against the Vietnam War and disenfranchisement while being criminalized by older White folks (per the news clip above). Don’t even get em started on gun control and protecting children in schools here in the States. We have been socially conditioned to produce child warriors--over glorified the Hero’s Journey--and have not considered the lack of care needed towards cultivating youth. Also, see this bit of media gaslighting that validates Kent State shooting. In short, connect with your inner little one or those wounds you carry. It is revolutionary work. As artists, can we create new stories that disrupt the child born to be sacrificed for the social sins of a culture? Lets do better.

6. A reference to the book, also a reference to the rhythm and music of our body, our heart beat, and encouragement to take care of the body. Stretch, exercise, cry. Don’t sit at the computer holding poop between your butt-cheeks. Use the bathroom. “Do you body right and it loves you back/ You only get one life and you because of that .../” Nas.

7. I would encourage rereading the first half of the poem. I purposely withheld footnotes and encourage you dear reader to write in the margins and explore how these themes intersect with your life experience.